How will Spokane proceed with a Creativity Economy?

Satire Alert.

  1. GreaterSpokane, Inc., will hire an outside consultant to do a study on adopting creativity as path forward in Spokane. The study will feature several charts showing a line sloping sharply upwards, to the right.  The report proclaims that Spokane will be a world-class, leading center of creativity.
  2. The city will appoint a Citizen’s Advisory Committee to meet at City Hall once per month to discuss creativity. The group will reach a consensus that expanding bus service will enhance access to creativity.
  3. The Sheriff and the Police Chief get confused and thought they heard Spokane needed to be on the “bleeding edge”.  Six more people are shot.
  4. The City and County agree to  develop a new 200 employee Department of Creativity. Their first task will be to produce a 500 page detailed standard operating procedures manual and to hire a consultant to produce a study on creativity in Spokane.
  5. The Spokane County Board of Commissioners will vote unanimously that creativity would be enhanced through the approval of more housing developments.
  6. The Spokesman-Review will editorialize that creativity should focus on the downtown core and along a corridor in the Spokane Valley. They will add a note that the land is owned by the Cowles family, which also owns the Spokesman-Review.
  7. KREM TV news reports that “Bikini Baristas still catching heat for hot outfits”. Video at 11.
  8. WSU-Spokane will announce the formation of a new Health Science  Center for Creativity to look at ways that the lack of creativity can be treated with pharmaceuticals. There’s a drug for that!
  9. Terabyte Triangle will post a note on their website that Spokane is a “Creative Tech Hot Spot”, misquoting an article in Network World magazine which actually said “Spokane is not yet a Creative Tech hot spot, but it is warming up. And they have a lot of golf courses and lakes.”
  10. GreaterSpokane, Inc will issue a press release proclaiming Spokane as a leading center of creativity, based on a quote posted on the Terabyte Triangle web page.
  11. GreaterSpokane, Inc, will form a study group that finds over 10 million highly creative people in the Inland Northwest, which they describe as the area bounded roughly by the California border on the south, the Pacific ocean on the west, the Mississippi River on the east and sometimes bounded by the Canadian border to the north. This tight creativity cluster will enhance Spokane’s ability to compete globally.
  12. A new state Department of Creativity will require all creative activities be licensed and that creativity be practiced safely and equitably throughout the state. A creative license will cost $100 and require passing a 100 multiple-choice question exam.
  13. The Tea Party will protest the new licensing provisions.
  14. Liberals will protest that poor people cannot afford the licensing fee and will demand a government subsidy program. They blame Bush for the lack of creativity and support a new visa program to import creativity from India.
  15. Conservatives will say the license fee should be higher to restrict the availability of creative licenses only to those whose wealth demonstrates their successful past creativity. They blame Obama for the lack of creativity in the nation and support a new trade program that enables U.S. companies to outsource their creativity needs to China.
  16. Sacred Heart says the government is not reimbursing them adequately for uncompensated creativity and must lay off workers and cut services to those lacking creativity.
  17. Deaconess, owned by CHS, announces that they believe they have an exclusive license for creativity in the Inland Northwest and will file suit against everyone.
  18. The Spokane Community College Nursing program adds a web page explaining to students that creativity, like accreditation, is not that important and they can still get a Washington state nursing license.
  19. The Transportation Security Agency announces that it will “pat down” your creativity with sensitivity to each traveler’s needs in order to ensure safety.
  20. A local blog, Spokane Creativity: Raw and Uncensored, looks at creativity in Spokane, with data and charts.

I may write up something serious about what creativity, innovation and infrastructure mean for Spokane. Eventually.

For now, I have answered my original question – what happened to all those tech and manufacturing firms and why did they leave Spokane?

The answer to that is in the next post.

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